READING IS FUCKINMENTAL / Jason Matthew Smith

BIG TITUS AND THE HOLDING COMPANY

Bite me, Tolkien. Peake is better.

My fifth-grade teacher was a fool for J.R.R. Tolkien. The walls of his classroom were adorned with crude paintings of characters from The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings (this was in the days when teachers could get away with that). If we didn’t feel like doing our math, this teacher would permit us to drop everything and read a novel, such was his passion for fiction. The room was stocked to the rafters with books—including multiple copies of the LOTR trilogy. In Mr. R’s class I read the C.S. Lewis books, the Black Stallion books, a novelization of the first Alien movie, countless Heinlein books, and Watership Down, among others. I pretty much owe my addiction to books to this guy, and I can thank him for the fact that I can’t solve a math problem to save my sorry white ass. But I have to disagree with Mr. R on his choice of “fantasy” lit. I’ve become a big fan of Mervyn Peake’s trilogy The Gormenghast Novels [amazon link: ]. Kudos to you if you know about it … you, me, and about four others in this country. The books, beginning with Titus Groan (the best of the three), trace the life of Titus and the Gormenghast family in their sprawling, decaying castle—with nary an orc or a broadsword in sight (thank God). The tale and the language are lush, rich, dark, Dickensian, and something you must experience to appreciate. Don’t expect panoramic battles and plucky elves. This is far darker, more complex stuff that walks a fine line between fantasy and realism.     

Jason Matthew Smith is a Texan who never developed an accent, thanks to a steady diet of television reruns during his formative years. He now lives in Utah, where everyone thinks he sounds just like John Astin, the original Gomez Addams.