BY JASON SIMMS & ERIN HARRELL

While traditionally, festivals of the multiple-nights, multiple-venues nature are reviewed in a chronological, blotter-type format, what the typical festival-goer walks away with is a set of highlights to report to their friends the next day or at bars or after parties while still covered in sweat from the shows.

Well, we've showered, but what follows is an alphabetical list of yearbook-style awards from last weekend's Music Fest Northwest. By no means could the two of us see each of the eight score bands, but similarly the yearbook staff doesn't know everyone in school.

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Best Lungs: Arctic Monkeys - Singer Alex Turner gets more words out per breath than one might think humanly possible. His pulmonary feats started the packed crowd dancing from the dropped jaw on down. (Wonder Ballroom, Friday)

Fewest Fans to Sweat Towels Award: Derby - Nodding to each other with excitement, it was clear that this local Portland band was psyched to be playing the festival. And the 40 or so people were there to see them had at least an OK time, to be sure. But just in case things got out of hand, these guys were prepared with sweat towels, accoutrements not furnished to acts playing to crowds ten times that size elsewhere. (Ash Street Saloon, Thursday)

Most Likely To Succeed: Dillinger Four - As vocalist Patrick Costello of this long-running and celebrated Minneapolis punk band took the stage 40 minutes late, he began to tune and told the crowd to "shut up." He said, "This is a big important music festival and we are going to get signed and get huge." As he revealed his chest tattoo that reads, "How much art can you take?" the hefty man explained, "I don't have this body to do some DIY shit forever." By making a mockery of the festival and the music industry, Dillinger Four connected with their crowd better than anyone else. And as their often chorus-less songs wrapped up sooner than you wanted them to, they reminded you that, yes, they are some of the greatest punk composers ever. (Hawthorne Theater, Saturday)

Best Shades: Dr. Dogg - Three members of this psychedelic indie band sported plastic square specs with fluorescent arms. They might have looked laid back, but they were also considered for the tightest band award. (Wonder Ballroom, Thursday)

Best Dramatic Performance: Explosions in the Sky - Thirty seconds into the this Texas post rock band's sold out set, they were head banging at the waist like it was the encore. Their energy was high, but left some near the back of the venue high and dry. (Crystal Ballroom, Thursday)

Most Optimistic: The Get Up Kids - "We're gonna play some more songs off Four Minute-Mile, just chill the fuck out," said Matt Pryor to the most excited and happy to be there crowd of the festival. About 90% of the audience was wearing beanies which is perhaps the only thing that kept their heads from exploding during "Red Letter Day." Three fans actually spontaneously combusted during the cover of the Replacements' "Beer for Breakfast." Don't worry, it didn't stop them from closing with "Oh Amy." (Roseland Theater, Saturday)

Keep It Classy Award: Mayer Hawthorne - Portland is not a classy city and Music Fest Northwest is not a classy event. Both are exceptionally drunk, in fact. And though there was one fan vomiting outside, Los Angeles soul singer, Mayer Hawthorne succeeded in getting the MFNW crowd to man up, look nice and dance like civilized human beings. Well done, sir. (Jimmy Mak's, Saturday)

Fan Appreciation Award: Modest Mouse - Long time fans were pleased when the final set of the festival was kicked off with a 10-minute version of "Dramamine."  "Doin' the Cockroach" may even have had some verses that aren't on the record. Modest Mouse (pictured above and at top of page) was in no hurry to get the festival done--playing only three extended numbers in the first half hour of their set. (Crystal Ballroom, Sunday)

Best Dressed: The Like - This dreamy girl pop band took the stage clad half in rockabilly, half in grandma-chic and immediately started complimenting the appearance of specific audience members, "like that cute couple over there." But it wasn't enough to make the hundreds of onlookers move--all stood still like dolls. So vocalist Z Berg figured fuck popularity and slipped some f-bombs into her stage banter. She'll never get homecoming queen that way, but she could have had any of the drooling boys in attendance who were too awkward to give this catchy set the energy it deserved. (Wonder Ballroom, Friday)

Extreme Tambourine Award: The Lonely H - Mark Fredson, the 20-year-old singer of Port Angeles, Washington, classic rock band, the Lonely H, is like a Ken doll created by Robert Plant to sing perfect blues-infused rock melodies. He plays keys too, but his tambourine arm might have generated a few Newtons of force and perhaps some bruises on his leg as these rock stars (honorable mention: best denim) stormed the stage with "Out West." (Ash Street Saloon, Friday)

Best Percussion: Love is Laughter - As part of the showcase for Isaac Brock's new label, Glacial Pace, this upbeat indie folk ensemble came equipped with three dedicated tambourinists (all female) and two drum sets each with many tiny cymbals to add nuance to their familiar formula. (Crystal Ballroom, Sunday)

Most Mobile Drummer: Mint Chicks - The drummer of this New Zealand experimental electronic pop four piece set up on floor in the middle of the Doug Fir, one of Portland's fancier, more by-the-book venues. Then he proceeded to accentuate the heavier parts by holding his snare drum up and beating it above his head. (Doug Fir, Thursday)

Best Use of Concert Barricade: Monotonix - OK, unless you're a security guard or the owner of a very large concert facility, you know that having a barricade at the front of the stage is lame. But Monotonix doesn't put up with lame. Security is powerless to stop these three Israelis from doing whatever the hell the want. In this case, they set up their amps behind the barricade so they wouldn't get knocked over as they proceed to crowd surf the drum set and perform some sort of garage rock muck from the center of a mosh pit. Your move, concert security. Your move. (Roseland Theater, Friday)

Best Use of A Capella and Vocal Rounds: New York Rifles - As all but the drummer of this Portland rock 'n' roll four piece stood at the front of the stage, microphones in hand and belted out their final, southern spiritual-inspired number, "Rails," it was hands down the most powerful and rock 'n' roll moment of the festival witnessed by your reporters. (Ash Street Saloon, Friday)

Most Likely to Change Your Life Award: Team Dresch - For so many who knew every word and bounced to every beat and cherished it as these queercore pioneers played their nearly distortionless brand of punk this set was therapy. Or church--with all the judgmental bullshit replaced with positive vibes. It was so magical, in fact, that some of the biggest fans sang along to the band's one new song out of sheer psychic connection to their heroes. (Rotture, Saturday)

Life of the Party: The Thermals - Despite the envy of those excluded from them, VIP parties do not usually get very out of hand. All that changes if indie punk trio the Thermals is what's behind the velvet rope. By the time their set wrapped up at 3 am, even the most "important" people were sweaty and horse from singing along. (Top Secret Location, Friday)

Best Hair: Viva Voce - This one-time two-piece now plays as a four-piece and its pair of lady guitarists had body and shine that out-shined the rest of the fest. Yes, these feathered dos were right out of the classic rock sound Viva introduced on Get Yr Blood Sucked Out and even the band's softer numbers were beefed up and loud. (Berbati's Pan, Friday)

[Photos Credits: Jason Simms & Erin Harrell]