BRIDGE TO SOMEWHERE 5: Obama Leads McCain
Nov 04, 2008
Last week - days - of nail biting and backbiting (an ongoing weekly summary of the presidential campaign).
BY BEN WESTHOFF
Nov. 3, 2008 - You can vote however you like: We just about made it, gang. Two years closer to the grave, a billion bucks spent. (Couldn't we have bailed out a small bank in Cleveland instead?) But it's been fun, right? Though many of you are complaining of election-coverage fatigue at this point, I'm not buying it. I suspect those who wish it were over are Barack Obama supporters worried there's still time for the Democrats to blow it. (Who knows how many other alien aunts he's got donating illegally to his campaign?) McCain supporters, I'm quite sure, would be just fine with this thing dragging on another week or two.
Tomorrow's Election Day, and I promise I haven't peeked inside the envelope. I am an Obama supporter, and I pick Obama to win. I hope my preference doesn't color my prognostication, but regardless, I'll say his margin of victory will be six points, he will get his 50 percent mandate, and his Electoral College total will be in the mid-300s. Florida will go his way, as will Ohio, Colorado, Virginia, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, New Mexico and Nevada. It will be the biggest blowout since Reagan/Mondale, and drunk, gleeful partisans will be breaking windows and tearing down stoplights until the wee hours, a la those wacky Phillies phans.
Obama won't win Montana, North Dakota, Arizona or Georgia, and the Peach state Democrat senate nominee Jim Martin won't win either, stranding the donkeys at 59 senate seats after Al Franken pulls it out against Norm Coleman in Minnesota. In the house, the Dems will win every single race, giving them a 435-0 superduper-majority. (As you can see, I know nothing about house races and don't think anyone much cares about that lesser chamber anyway, so long as their team's in control.)
As I've said before, I believe black turnout will surpass the Democrats' wildest dreams, and Obama's vote total will obliterate John Kerry's. McCain's people, meanwhile, will roughly equal Bush's (quite substantial and organized) turnout of 2004. The insane number of folks in line to vote will cause chaos; expect governors to extend voting hours in urban centers, causing Sean Hannity to wet his pants. People will mainly vote along partisan lines -- I am quite suspicious of the Conservatives and Rednecks for Obama phenomena - but expect the hungry Dems to turn out en masse.
Historically, high turnout has favored the Democrats, and most everyone I've encountered in recent weeks is buzzing about the election. Even at the White Lion concert in Clifton, New Jersey over the weekend, lead singer Mike Tramp (a Dane), implored the crowd not to forget to vote. This was shortly after singing the band's late ‘80s hair metal power ballad classic, "When The Children Cry," which contains the lyric: "No more presidents/ and all the wars will end/ one united world/ under God."
Even though I live in said uncontested garden state, I plan to wait an hour in line if I have to, just to be able to "say" I voted for Obama like old timers do of JFK. (Of course, in surveys some 90 percent claim they pulled John's lever in that very close 1960 election against Nixon, but never mind that.) There is no doubt this has been an historic campaign, and if Obama wins it'll be a serious tell-the-grandkids-I-was-there moment. [We're with you on that, Ben. - Eds.] So ready the champagne, check your mail for that rebate check, and prepare to stop lying about your American citizenship when you travel abroad.
But a word of advice to libs - if he loses, or if - God forbid - another Democrat loses a presidential election in your lifetime, don't say you're moving to Canada. That's a lie and it makes you sounds like a zealous idiot. Alec Baldwin is still here, and you will be too. Remember, people who vote for Republicans are not bad people, and they're not (on average) any dumber than we are.
If you need some inspiration, watch these adorable kids adorably sing this adorable song. And remember, like Obama, liberals are open-minded people, they embrace everyone, and - most importantly - they stay cool.
Backtrack:
Bridge To Somewhere Week 4: Show-Us, Obama
Bridge To Somewhere Week 3: Joe the Gay Porn Star
Bridge To Somewhere Week 2: Something in the Ayers
Bridge To Somewhere Week 1:Dizzy with spin
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