BLURT Managing Editor Runs For Prez
10/04/2008
Tosses his porkpie hat into the ring in a late bid for the highest office in the land.
By Blurt Staff
Silver Spring, MD: It's already being called this election's October Surprise, according to a slew of media outlets, including Fox News and The Village Voice: this week BLURT Managing Editor Fred Mills formally announced a run for the President Of The United States. He's running, naturally, as the BLURT Party candidate, whose official motto is "40 Acres and A Mule in Every Garage, Plus Some Pot For the Chickens."
Citing an "overwhelming disgust" in the political system following Joe Biden's "craven failure to ritually disembowel Sarah Palin and dress her like a moose" in front of the cameras during prime time during Thursday night's Vice Presidential debates as his chief motivating factor, Mills has already built up an impressive grassroots movement, as evidenced by this news clip.
"There's an old saying about politics and the American people: ‘We're all bozos on this bus',' Mills noted at a brief press conference held at the BLURT grand ballroom yesterday morning. Pulling his hair back into a ponytail and stroking his peach fuzz, Mills continued, "'Well, not any more - I'm hijacking the bus and kicking all the bozos off."
Mills hasn't picked a running mate yet, but his short list reportedly includes Foo Fighter Dave Grohl, funkmaster George Clinton and hockey mom Patti Smith.
